i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
