OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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