i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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