think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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