It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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