My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
