also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
