check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
