I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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