I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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