sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
