in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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