We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
