At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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