Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  It breaks. We fall.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?

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  (443): So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in. (443): It breaks. We fall. (443): I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys? http://tfl.nu/201c
  Replies (14) Good night (511) Bad night (3080)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..

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  (609): She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her.. http://tfl.nu/k827
  Replies (49) Good night (6741) Bad night (607)
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  (516): View more from New York

  so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs

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  (516): so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs http://tfl.nu/qh32
  Replies (21) Good night (4231) Bad night (602)
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  (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  (415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk
  Replies (25) Good night (9248) Bad night (1258)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.

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  (716): I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting. http://tfl.nu/txta
  Replies (28) Good night (1394) Bad night (3657)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.

  (917): View more from New York City

  So many issues. You honestly need help.

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  (862): I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in. (917): So many issues. You honestly need help. http://tfl.nu/cv7o
  Replies (10) Good night (2512) Bad night (1023)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.

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  (+44): the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner. http://tfl.nu/ddr6
  Replies (6) Good night (1758) Bad night (840)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.

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  (613): Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/2zfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1017) Bad night (431)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

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  (778): We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in? http://tfl.nu/nu3d
  Replies (11) Good night (1109) Bad night (2920)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.

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  (425): Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now. http://tfl.nu/y7g1
  Replies (6) Good night (1400) Bad night (515)
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  (213): View more from California

  Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  ... and if i was..

  (213): View more from California

  Fuck. You.

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  (213): Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten. (201): ... and if i was.. (213): Fuck. You. http://tfl.nu/ty6i
  Replies (5) Good night (1712) Bad night (464)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?

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  (647): didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail? http://tfl.nu/zlp7
  Replies (11) Good night (436) Bad night (978)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used

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  (519): We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used http://tfl.nu/tre0
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (228)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead

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  (603): The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead http://tfl.nu/vy0x
  Replies (5) Good night (370) Bad night (318)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?

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  (530): I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday? http://tfl.nu/860p
  Replies (5) Good night (286) Bad night (432)

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