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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.

  (949): View more from California

  she's my drunk super hero.

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (516): View more from New York

  the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs sedatives and a leash

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• (212): View more from New York

  No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting

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