I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.