She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
So. Much. Porn.
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