Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(778): View more from British Columbia

yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...

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(778): yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet... http://tfl.nu/488j

Replies (29) Good night (3339) Bad night (1483)
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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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(807): I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina. http://tfl.nu/rpnu

Replies (46) Good night (7304) Bad night (979)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.

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(715): Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina. http://tfl.nu/6q39

Replies (290) Good night (4140) Bad night (2686)
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(408): View more from California

Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this

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(408): Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this http://tfl.nu/4kx4

Replies (16) Good night (5043) Bad night (845)
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(310): View more from California

Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.

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(310): Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever. http://tfl.nu/fsai

Replies (16) Good night (1098) Bad night (16376)
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(720): View more from Colorado

She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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(720): She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/5m3k

Replies (41) Good night (9414) Bad night (3306)
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(765): View more from Indiana

So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?

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(765): So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night? http://tfl.nu/0nca

Replies (16) Good night (4958) Bad night (1559)
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(443): View more from Maryland

she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.

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(443): she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates. http://tfl.nu/n2n2

Replies (5) Good night (2259) Bad night (916)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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(541): I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick. http://tfl.nu/18bv

Replies (11) Good night (1816) Bad night (630)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.

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(857): It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful. http://tfl.nu/xfy4

Replies (9) Good night (2063) Bad night (1101)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.

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(301): I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had. http://tfl.nu/epuv

Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (384)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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(443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv

Replies (5) Good night (332) Bad night (550)
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(360): View more from Washington

I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.

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(360): I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise. http://tfl.nu/2iu1

Replies (7) Good night (1513) Bad night (289)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.

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(614): I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low. http://tfl.nu/zc0w

Replies (3) Good night (233) Bad night (682)
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(770): View more from Georgia

His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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(770): His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis http://tfl.nu/4skm

Replies (6) Good night (426) Bad night (327)

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