Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(314): View more from Missouri

I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!

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(503): View more from Oregon

I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

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(785): View more from Kansas

The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.

(774): View more from Massachusetts

You schedule blowjobs?

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