Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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  (206): he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina. http://tfl.nu/gr4l
  Replies (39) Good night (798) Bad night (4979)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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  (812): I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is. http://tfl.nu/2rnr
  Replies (11) Good night (1451) Bad night (4674)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism

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  (862): I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism http://tfl.nu/6czv
  Replies (8) Good night (3785) Bad night (1466)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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  (803): If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now http://tfl.nu/b5gc
  Replies (9) Good night (1916) Bad night (3498)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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  (203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb
  Replies (5) Good night (2570) Bad night (692)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.

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  (859): If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference. http://tfl.nu/hvve
  Replies (4) Good night (2615) Bad night (622)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

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  (419): I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done. http://tfl.nu/5j5b
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (756)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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  (740): This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod. http://tfl.nu/pyaj
  Replies (9) Good night (1837) Bad night (607)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.

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  (506): I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside. http://tfl.nu/nmit
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (870)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

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  (440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy
  Replies (7) Good night (594) Bad night (1316)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.

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  (570): I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out. http://tfl.nu/9vp6
  Replies (7) Good night (1965) Bad night (405)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway

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  (330): Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway http://tfl.nu/794f
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (275)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.

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  (740): I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck. http://tfl.nu/g6o5
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (294)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though

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  (314): I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though http://tfl.nu/f0gi
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (197)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.

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  (717): She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious. http://tfl.nu/pknw
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (448)

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