she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
