he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
