lets start a swedish sibling band together
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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