Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
