I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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