Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I party with great urgency now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
