Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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