you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand