i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.