my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME