No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
