how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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