I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
