I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
