Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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