Where are you?
In a non slutty way
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
