i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
