So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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