If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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