Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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