and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm like, not good at living.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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