he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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