oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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