there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
