My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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