im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
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Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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