So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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