At least make sure they are 18
Why
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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