I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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