I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am one with the molecules
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
