I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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