There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
