Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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