She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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