Define "chronic" masturbator.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
