I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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