Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
