i just sent this text using only my big toe
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
