Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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