WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
