Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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