Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Found the puke drawer
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
