The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
