who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
