I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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