Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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