Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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