i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize