I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
