I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
