What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
