I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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