He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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