It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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