so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
