when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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